Although as parents we don't expect our children to become victims of abuse, it’s still vital for us to educate them so they know what to do if they are ever targeted by an abuser.  A little preparation can save those we love from ongoing turmoil and heartache.

Although child abuse is not always preventable, parents can take steps to significantly reduce the risk for their children.

The Boy Scouts of America has produced helpful materials to educate parents and children on this important topic.  The Scout booklet,  “How to Protect Your Children From Child Abuse: A Parent’s Guide” is an excellent resource.  Although the booklet is about protecting boys, the principles can be adapted to girls.  

The first section of the booklet offers information for parents.  The second section is for parents to share with their children. 

Open communication between you and your child is essential.  The booklet counsels, “It is important that you read the entire booklet before you and your son do any of the exercises together.  You might be tempted to hand this booklet to your son and tell him to read it.  We urge you to resist this temptation.  Your son needs to know that he can openly discuss difficult topics with you." 

The booklet teaches children about their rights:  When feeling threatened, kids have the right to:

• "Trust their instincts or feelings.
  
• Expect privacy.
  
• Say no to unwanted touching or affection.
  
• Say no to an adult’s inappropriate demands and requests.
  
• Withhold information that could jeopardize their safety.
  
• Refuse gifts.
  
• Be rude or unhelpful if the situation warrants.
  
• Run, scream, and make a scene.
  
• Physically fight off unwanted advances.
  
• Ask for help.”
  

The booklet also teaches kids the “Three Rs” of Youth Protection:

• “Recognize that anyone could be a child molester and be aware of situations that could lead to abuse.
  
• Resist advances made by child molesters to avoid being abused.
  
• Report any molestation or attempted molestation to parents or other trusted adults.”

The booklet also gives helpful guidelines to protect kids from abuse online and tells stories about other kids who were confronted by abusers so parents can help their children prepare in advance to protect themselves if they are faced with a similar situation. 

Here is the link again:  “How to Protect Your Children From Child Abuse: A Parent’s Guide”

Our world is wonderful, but it can be challenging.  As Moms, we have the responsibility to help our children see the beauty in life, and at the same time prepare them for the challenges.

The Boy Scouts of America has prepared excellent materials that can help us teach our kids how to avoid abuse.  In addition to valuable printed materials, the Boy Scouts have created a very helpful video for Cub Scouts called “It Happened to Me.”   

I first saw this video when my son was a Cub Scout.  We were invited to attend a meeting for all the boys and their parents.  A Scout leader introduced the film and conducted the discussion.  
At first I was surprised, but as the evening progressed I was very grateful for the preparation my young son received to protect himself if he ever needed to.

The video teaches children important principles and practices  to avoid being abused, including the “Four Rules of Personal Safety:

1)  Check first with a parent or other trusted adult before I change plans, go anywhere, or accept anything from anyone.

2)  Go with a friend in order to be safer and to have more fun.  (For young children, the friend should be a parent, other trusted adult, or older child approved by the parents.)

3)  It is my body and I have the right to say no to anyone who tries to touch me in places covered by my swimming suit or to do things that I think are wrong.

4)  Tell a trusted adult anytime I am hurt, scared, or made to feel uncomfortable.”

Click here for the Facilitator’s Guide for the videos:  It Happened to Me Facilitator's Guide

Note: "It Happened to Me" is divided into 5 parts here.  They are all important, so if you can only see one video, please click the tiny "Read More" link below the video to see the other four parts.

The video, "A Time to Tell", was created by the Boy Scouts of America to help boys (12 and older) to avoid becoming victims of abuse.  

We first saw this video when our son became a Boy Scout.  Our Boy Scout leaders called a meeting for all scouts and their parents.  We had already seen the Cub Scout video about abuse, but this video is specially created for older boys and addresses some of the challenges they may face.  

The Boy Scouts considers this training so important that scouts (ages 8-18) and their parents attend a meeting each year where they watch a video on abuse and talk about how to avoid it. 

Here is a link to the Facilitator’s Guide for the videos:  A Time to Tell Facilitator's Guide

Note: "A Time to Tell" is divided into 5 parts here.  They are all important, so if you can only see one video, please click the tiny "Read More" link below the video to see the other four parts..
 

The child abuse scandal at Penn State has dominated the news for the last couple days.  Normally I choose not to post about ugly news - there are too many good and important things to focus on.  

But sadly, child abuse has an impact on many families.  I have more than one friend whose child has been sexually abused by a trusted family associate.  

As Moms, we need to be aware.  So, here is a little about the Penn State tragedy.  The next post will be about some of the things we can do to prepare and protect our children against abusers...

Joe Paterno is a college football icon, a legendary hero in many minds and hearts.  But new evidence shows that he neglected to adequately follow through when he discovered that his assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, was found sexually abusing an 11 year-old boy in the showers of the Penn State locker room.  

Although Coach Paterno reported the abuse to his superiors at Penn State, many say he could have, and should have, done more.  He did what was legally required, “but somebody has to question about what I would consider the moral requirements for a human being that knows of sexual things that are taking place with a child,” state police Commissioner Frank Noonan said in a press conference Monday.  He continued, “I think you have the moral responsibility.”

Sandusky retired in 1999, but he continued to use the school’s facilities, supposedly for his work with at-risk kids.  He used his reputation, and access to Penn State, to abuse many others.  So far, 17 boys have reported Sandusky abused them.

It’s impossible to express the pain and shame that may have been inflicted on these boys.  In the words of Coach Paterno, “This is a tragedy.  It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

Click here to read the results of the Grand Jury Investigation.  (The investigation is disturbing, and normally wouldn't be posted here.  But Sandusky's tactics are typical among abusers and show how a trusted adult can seduce and trap kids if they aren't aware.  As Moms, we need to be informed and teach our kids in a way that prepares them without alarming them.)